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Political Sex Scandals

Posted by Batteries Included on

Fall in America – tis the season for golden leaves, apple pies and PSLs (yes those, don’t hate).  Every four years, it’s also the season that forces ideological stars to collide in the form of a presidential election.   Trust when we say that this 2016 campaign has kept us on the edge of our seats… including the occasional toilet seat, with a case of the “we-can’t-believe-this” shits. But Republican presidential nominee Donald “grab them by the pussy” Trump has outdone himself this time. 

Or rather, he outdid himself over 10 years ago – The Washington Post recently released old audio catching Donald Trump on a hot mic, educating his douchebag mentee (and former Access Hollywood host) #BillyBush on how to be a gentleman with the ladies (read: grab them by the pussy). Never mind that Trump’s approach to the world is straight out of the how to be a prep-school rapist handbook. What’s also deplorable and overlooked is Bush trying to get something going between #DirtyTrump and the woman they spent the last 5 minutes verbally roofying. Billy Bush - the ultimate wingman, and in a court of law, maybe even an accessory to premeditated sexual assault.

Yes, Batteries Included is finally writing a political blog. Not an endorsement blog, because we don’t do that (but rest assured that as a sex-positive brand, our politics run left of center).  But this is a political blog … about sex. For the politicos below, their sex scandals pale in comparison to the Orange Hitler himself but are still worth mentioning.

Of course, #NeverTrump gets the Politician Most Likely to Shoot Their Load Up Their Own Ass award (maybe he’ll claim it at tonight’s 2nd presidential #debate).  Below are some of Batteries Included’s picks for other political sex scandal awards. And no, it’s not an honor just to be nominated…

The “Do As I Say, Not As I Do” Award

This award goes out to the hypocrites and stone throwers of the world. If only their stones were attached to boomerangs so they could take themselves out on the rebound.  

Strom Thurmond – a South Carolina public servant, segregationist and GASP, father to a biracial daughter? We’ll give credit where it’s due for Thurmond serving in the US Army, a decorated veteran of WWII. But using political power deny one’s own child the civil rights and quality of life they deserved? Tisk tisk.

Larry Craig - being gay and cruising aren’t scandalous, but happening to do both while being a Republican senator with an anti-gay political platform is. Caught trying to solicit sex in an airport bathroom, Craig is just one of many politicians living in a glass house of lies.

“Let’s Go to the Tape” Award      

#DumpTrump isn’t the only one to get busted with a hidden camera or hot mic. Just a few others, in no particular order:

Ed Schrock – anti-gay rights Representative caught on tape trying to arrange time with a gay male sex worker.

John Edwards – grainy video proof of his affair with staffer Rielle Hunter brought down his political career and ambitions to be POTUS.

Bill Clinton – to be fair, we have to point out that the husband of #HillaryClinton (Democratic nominee for POTUS) also happened to be the 42nd POTUS when he was caught in one of several sex scandals of his own. Linda Tripp’s recordings of conversations with his tryst du jour, White House intern Monica Lewinsky, made for great SNL fodder but still…

“Sexting for Senators” Award     

 

Yes, we roll our eyes and sigh whenever our parents ask us them to teach us how to use fill-in-the-app-here. But maybe there’s something to be said for teaching the art of sexting and social media to newbies...  

Anthony Weiner – need we say more?    


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